5 Things No One Tells You About Having Braces

Here we are m'dears. Hope we're in time for tea!

-Mr. Sappleton from The Open Window

That is a quote from the play I'm currently in. Tomorrow is the performance. I'm pretty excited. You're all invited, of course. It's a very short play, really – probably less than 30 minutes. But it's a lot of fun. It's Victorian, you know, so that's always enjoyable, to get to dress in old-fashioned clothing. It makes me feel strange afterwards, though, when I've been wearing three layers of skirts for over an hour and had my hair done so nicely, to just put on modern jeans and etc. 

Anyhow. Today we bring to you:

5 Things No One Tells You About Having Braces

1. The useful skills you learn such as taking your rubber bands out with your tongue or putting a wire back in place in less than 10 seconds will sadly not have any application elsewhere in life. No use putting it on your resumé.

2. When rubber bands give you a sore, there's nothing you can do about it.

3. Eating pizza in polite company becomes difficult, because although it's pretty easy to tear off pieces and not painful (try eating carrots, ha ha!), you'll need to pick crust out of your teeth afterwards and will have to hope desperately that your companions suddenly become interested in something on the opposite side of the room.

4. Those useful little brushes that they give you actually have a name. Christmas Tree Brushes.

5. You can't make a fish face with rubber bands in. You know, the one where you suck in your cheeks? Not happening.