Such a Sister, Such a Friend

"I have lost a treasure, such a Sister, such a friend as never can have been surpassed,—She was the sun of my life, the gilder of every pleasure, the soother of every sorrow, I had not a thought concealed from her, & and it as if I had lost a part of myself."

-Cassandra Elizabeth Austen, writing to her niece Fanny after Jane's death

In case you didn't know, college life can be very busy. Currently I'm waiting for a pot of water to boil (and thus bound to the kitchen but forbidden to stand by the stove, since, as you well know, a watched pot never boils), so I have a stolen minute to write this.

No matter how busy I am, though, I like to read a little before bed to put my brain to sleep. I rarely read more than a few pages a night, so I go through my bedtime books fairly slowly. I started Jane Austen's Letters, edited by Deirdre LeFaye, on October 10 and finished at the end of March. This isn't truly indicative of my speed in reading, however, as of course there were some nights I read something else. These nights increased as I neared the end of the book; I like to finish things but I did not want to be done with Jane.

(The water has now come to a boil, but I must remain to watch it and be sure my eggshells do not boil over. Yes, eggshells. I am making homemade calcium powder to make tooth paste.)

It would be grossly unjust to pretend I know Jane Austen the way Cassandra did. However, in at last finishing this volume, knowing I have now read every word the dear creature wrote (which remains to us, anyway), I cannot but feel in some small way that I've lost a friend. For months I read a letter before bed nearly every night, feeling comforted after the stress of the day that still Jane was there, with her good sense, frank humour, lively wit, and deep affection for her family. 

Her kindly notes to her young nieces were delightful. She wrote that she was "quite tired of so many children" and recommended "the simple regimen of separate rooms," yet she doted on her many nieces and nephews. She wrote to Fanny and Anna as though they were sisters and treated her younger nieces, such as Caroline, as though they were adults. And imagine getting literary criticism from Jane Austen! As an Aunt myself, two passages stuck out to me:

"Now that you are become an Aunt, you are a person of some consequence & must excite great Interest whatever You do. I have always maintained the importance of Aunts as much as possible, & I am sure of your doing the same now."

(Letter to Caroline Austen)

"His having been in love with the aunt gives Cecilia an additional interest with him. I like the idea,—a very proper compliment to an aunt! I rather imagine indeed that nieces are seldom chosen but out of compliment to some[284] aunt or another. "

(Letter to Anna Austen Lefroy, regarding Anna's novel)

I laughed out loud many times and frequently identified with her concerns. As she lamented that her handwriting was never as small or as neat as she could wish, or that too-perfect heroines made her feel "sick and wicked," I wanted to tell her, "Me too!" 

I love Regency clothing, the manners, and the old British idioms. I'm drawn to Jane Austen's novels and other writings for all those reasons, but also because of the "me too" feeling one gets while reading. No, I don't spend my days taking country walks, writing letters and changing for dinner. But it is absolutely delightful to read a 19th century novel and to encounter the same human emotions, desires, idiosyncrasies, and disappointments as those found in 2019. Two hundred years removed, I feel more of a kinship with this woman than with any of my classmates.