Monday, December 10, 2012

A confession

I have a confession. The reason I don't blog very much is not because I'm busy. I am busy- but not busy to the point of absolutely no spare time.
The real reason is that I'm afraid. Every time I post, I think Oh, no one's going to want to read it. The Mad Elvish Poet probably sighs and rolls her eyes when she sees I've posted. My blog is so unprofessional. I need a cool header, like the ones found here, here and here. This one and this one are perhaps not simple enough for me, but still original and fun, while this speaks simplicity.
And I worry that I use too many links, or maybe I should use more pictures, and that my blog is boring and dry and that no one will want to read it.
I worry that my stories are awful and they bore people- no one wants to read about my silly ideas, or my random snippets.
I worry that I'm proud to consider that these worries are false- that someone would want to read my mumblings and story snippets.
My blog isn't pretty enough, professional enough, interesting enough or anything-enough to make anyone but 3 friends (and 1 random person whom I follow) care to read my blog.
A blog is supposed to be the writer's honest thoughts, but what I blog is carefully picked over, rewritten and even then, I hesitate to click "Publish".
Even now, I just deleted a section about the hobbit. I decided it didn't fit the post and therefore deleted it.
This is mostly unedited material- different from most of my posts- but even here, where I'm trying to be honest and let this be my raw thoughts, I think carefully about what I type and press the delete key more than once.

So, dear readers, that is my confession. Unedited (mostly). If it is boring and stiff and not worth reading, I can only spread my hands and say that it is, at least, honest.

4 comments:

  1. I was like that a lot--and still am--when I started blogging a year ago. I couldn't help thinking "No one will like this and no cares". But I've found that you just have to "be who you are and say what you feel" and it will eventually get to be as comfortable as talking to a friend. Even if you don't think it makes any sense. I'm pretty sure not everything I say makes sense. People like honest.

    But anyway. If you ever need any help with designing, you can go here. The people there are quite nice. ;)

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  2. Awdur, you shouldn't worry about such things. I am much less professional on my blog, and Poet has been doing her blog for a long time.
    You have the right to post what you want, and if people have a problem with that, that is THEIR problem for not liking someone who is open. People who read blogs should expect to see people's thoughts and interests, not some overly perfect site.
    So, post what you want. You don't have to overly filter it and process it.

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    Replies
    1. I know I don't (and shouldn't) filter and process everything, but it's hard not to, because I get to thinking less about what I'm writing and more about the people reading it.

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  3. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I think your blog is really cool.

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Spill your thoughts. Observe common courtesy. You'll make me happy.