Review: The Desolation of Smaug

It's been a bit of a while since I posted. Okay, lets be honest: it's been a month and a half. But I make no excuses because life's been crazy and I haven't had anything particular to write about anyway. Wouldn't you much rather read no posts at all, rather than read a pointless post about nothing that was just written to write one?
Anyways. Anne of Green Gables is over now *sniff sniff*. It went so well. Other than spilling tea on myself during the scene where Diana gets drunk on "raspberry cordial".  :)
Moving on to the real point of this post (please be prepared for intense frustration, delight, anger, and quite possibly some screaming).

I've never been to a midnight premier.  I didn't go last year and then regretted not going. So of course I had to go this year. I dressed up, of course, and went with a large group of crazies (meself included, of course).
It was... perfect. And awful. And full of "Huh? That wasn't in the book..." moments.
Thus, I need to vent review it.

Movie review: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

One of my friends put it really well when she said "The actors were great, the effects were great, the script was terrible."
Ah, so true. Bard was everything I dreamed he should be. I think the dwarves' personalities were captured very well – showing how Thorin was becoming corrupted by lust for the gold and the Arkenstone (e'en before he saw them) was done very well. Smaug was very good. I liked that they showed what was happening with the Necromancer. Yeah, it's not shown in the book, but it happens in the book. Bilbo wasn't there so it wasn't described, but it was still happening. I liked those scenes – I liked that the Necromancer wasn't a person or a beast but was just a mass of darkness. And the darkness couldn't overcome the light (interesting thing, if you're in a dark room and you turn on the light or light a candle, the darkness is extinguished, yet even if you walk into a darker room, the candle isn't extinguished; I think there's an interesting metaphor in that).
I was so looking forward to the scenes with Beorn and in Mirkwood. I was sorely disappointed in Beorn. Badly done, Peter Jackson! Badly done! (You're a kindred spirit if you get that quote.)
1). I picture (and the book describes) Beorn living in this great big, grand hall. Not a barn. 

2). Did anyone else picture Beorn looking like a wookie? I didn't anyway, but I guess the directors did.

   

You gotta admit, there is some similarity (he also kind of looks like Worf from Stark Trek)

3). In the book, Beorn has a personality and feelings. You get the sense of his incredible fierceness, but also of his fierce love of his animals. In the movie, I don't think he has a personality. No emotions, anyway. In human form, he's like this higher being, sort of like an elf, who has no emotions, and thinks deep thoughts but doesn't care about anybody. And in bear-form, he's a senseless animal.

4). They changed one of my favorite parts!!! Instead of coming to his house in twos while Gandalf is telling Beorn this story (it's a very amusing scene), they just run in. Granted, they were being chased by orcs, but couldn't they have just made the orcs fall behind for this one scene? I think they could've.

Next off, Mirkwood was also disappointing.

1). It was far too short. It felt rushed, to me. They didn't necessarily leave things out, they just sped it up.

2). Ugh. They left the path on purpose, guys! Not by accident! I don't think they should've changed it, and I don't think they NEEDED to change it.

3). Tauriel? Where did she come from? Legolas makes sense (he IS Prince of Mirkwood, after all, so he has a right to be there). The other elves were great – Thranduil was perfect. Just cold and aloof enough. But the girl? I don't think she fits. I don't mind there being female elves (even named, main character ones) but I don't think she would have been out there killing things. I'm not sexist, but the female elves in Lord of the Rings aren't soldiers (at least, I've never seen/read about them). And falling in love with a dwarf? Elves and dwarfs hate each other, peoples. Period. They don't fall in love. (And Kili? What's up with using walnuts as a pillow?)

But what really got me going was the end. Where did the whole thing with the statue come in? That didn't even make sense. They completely change it, when there was no middle-earthly reason too. 

For some reason I didn't feel like this was as violent as Lord of the Rings (although they were being chased by orcs [not in the book, mind you] through pretty much the entire movie). The action was really close-up and choppy, so you (or I at least) couldn't tell what was going on at all. Which was a bit annoying at times. 

Overall: It gets 4 stars. Or 3 and half. I didn't like Beorn, or the scene in the mountain. But I enjoyed the experience, (even though it ended on a horrible cliff hanger) though that was more because we got there early so we had the huge theatre to ourselves, and I enjoyed dressing up. And of course I'll go next year. But I disappointed, all the same.

The Hobbit over and done, I look forward to Christmas (we drew names this year, which we've never done before, so I'm excited about that!). As they said in olden days, Happy Christmas!